frustrations continue

I have never had so much discord in my life as I am now experiencing in my later years. When I was younger and my husband was in the military and had to leave us months at a time I never experience the discord I now feel, I had to take care of 4 children by myself, I had a husband who at a whim would decide to move us, but in all of this I had the feeling of love, I had the feeling of togetherness, I had the feeling of family. Now in my later life I feel the disconnection of my family, I do not feel togetherness, I feel adrift in my life and I don't like it. I don't know how to fix it, I am so lost right now, no contentment, just frustrations. I have four daughters but I have to keep them in separate compartments in my heart and in my mind and that is so hard. We left Las Vegas to move to Alaska to have the family connection with our youngest daughter and her family, my oldest daughter also moved her family with us so we could continue the family togetherness but that did not happen and I don't have the answer. We returned to Nevada where we thought we would find the family togetherness and it has escaped us once again. I have to rethink my life and hope someday that all will be good again, in the meantime my one and only rock, my husband, will have to fill all the dispare I feel, all the frustrations I feel, all the lack of family togetherness I feel and he will have to be my rock, he will have to ground me, he will have to fill my heart with the love that I miss from my family, he will have to be my life.